Open Letters To My Dear Brother #6

20 September  2017

Dear Honey,
Lots of love!

I was very disappointed when you never appeared in my dreams after your departure. But I’m so glad now when I saw you during my meditation sessions. That was such a blessed sight. I know you still love me. Our bond will stay forever. Though I cry a lot these days. Specially in evenings and during meditation. Tears keep flowing uncontrollably. Last friday I cried so much that I caught cold and flu. But things and emotions are not in my control. I promised myself I won’t cry anymore now atleast not that much since I hate cold 🙂

When you were a kid you too used to catch cold frequently. Papa was overprotective for you. He used to take leave whenever you fell ill. Not trusting any of us. Mom used to show more confidence in me and Parul by leaving you in our care whenever she had to go out for few hours.
We were like young mothers taking good care of you and actually enjoyed doing this. This brought three of us more close.
Once again we have come close sharing your grief with each other. Trying to help each other. Papa wrote few lines for you. Sending you that with this letter. I noticed his hands were trembling while writing this. And he has started leaving a lot of space towards left side of paper which he never used to do before. But then nothing is same as before.
Read and feel his and mom’s love for you.
Take care wherever you are!
Your crying machine
Meenakshi


© 2017 Meenakshi Sethi, Wings Of Poetry 

39 thoughts on “Open Letters To My Dear Brother #6

      1. you are keeping him alive with your words, dear Meenakshi. I cannot even begin to fathom the feelings of loss. yes, our hope is that your beloved and caring and heartwarming sentiments are reaching him. the universe works in mysterious ways, as does God, so there is always hope and hope is what gets us through deeply sorrowful days. my very warmest of wishes to you, my friend Meenakshi.

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  1. We don’t understand dream too much to know why someone appears in our dream or not. It’s comforting that your brother shows up in your meditation. He is on your conscious and spiritual levels, that is precious. Your brother has never left you. He has, physically, but not spiritually, not from your mind and your heart. Yes, your writing keeps him alive in you. Thank you for sharing your memories of your loving brother. I’m sure he reads you dad’s letter also!!

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    1. Yes he appeared many times. During one session I saw him sitting with me on a bench somewhere amidst of clouds. We were not talking to each other just sitting holding each other’s hand. Then he gave me a glass of water to drink. After drinking it I felt peaceful he wiped out my tears, Kissed my forehead and turned into a bright light and flew away somewhere far. But I felt peace after that.

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                  1. I understand that too. My friends and family know by now that I’m a cry baby. They accept it and do make a big deal out of it. They know that’s me and know that I’m okay and don’t need sympathy. When I went through things, I shared in my group of friends and cry. They just pray without feeling sorry for me.

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  2. My heart goes out to you all.
    Especially your parents.
    Writing is healing, so write, speak your heart and let that energy out.
    I’m sure your brother knows…. and keep yourself open to messages…
    I get them all the time from my dad, aunt and uncle.
    Much love, Kavitha

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      1. Meena, they come to me in my dreams and show me where they are, who they are with. They come home and I sense them at home. My pets (dogs) used to sense them.
        My new kittens just come closer to me, as if to protect me.
        … and the butterflies (my aunt) cigarette smell from dad, and when they put the tv/radio on or off. Yes and my aunt used to switch my bedroom lights on and off. I used to ask “Ma, is that you?” ON and OFF the light would go.
        They know I have a problem with letting go so they reassure me often.
        So see Meena, howl if your want to, cry if you want to, but make time for and embrace the silence… its in the silence that we feel and hear so much.
        Given your bond with your brother, he knows. I send a big hug to you.

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        1. Thank You so much for sharing this with me. This is very deep insight. Someone asked me the other day if I would get scare if my brother will come and appear in front of me and I said No, never I will go and hug him. Saying thanks a million times.

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  3. “Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love.
    Its all the love you want to give,
    but cannot. All of that unspent love
    gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the
    hollow part of our chest. Grief is just love with no place to go,”
    Extracted from the Word Porn site.

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  4. Your dad is good with words too
    I hope expressing his pain helped him
    Though everyone is supporting your brother’s visit and encouraging you to feel the pain but I would suggest this is not healthy for you. And it’s not just about the cold but emotional and mental impact of letting yourself feel the pain. Maybe the visit you explained where your brother offered you water simply meant that you have to cry less and take care of your health. I am very younger to you and neither I have experienced such a big loss and nor I can imagine the extent of your pain but my support is with you. The deeper you go down in grief, the more difficult it would be to come out of it. Though you might have considered me a nicer person if like all I encouraged your dreams and thoughts about it but I rather choose to be blunt even if that makes me look bad. Letting sadness overpower you and feeling his presence might cause you delusions or hallucinations and make you loose touch with reality. Try to connect with now. I want you to recover soon.
    Consciously try to not to think about him even if it seems a Herculean task. You might be creating hinderances to his future journey by tying him down. I don’t know how afterlife works but I have a feeling that fighting with attachments make it tougher for the soul to move on.
    Don’t consider it a criticism I wish well for you
    Best wishes

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    1. That’s so sweet of you Cherry! 😘
      You are actually right. I’m trying to get out of it too and that’s why I started meditation on first place.
      It’s just that there is a lot of chaos going on in my life inside and outside too from last 4-5 years. And it has turned me so strong that I almost forgot to cry. Everytime I dealt with pain I stopped myself from crying blocking my tears.
      It seems that not only his departure but all that blocked feelings are flowing out of eyes and heart now. They are tears kept safe inside somewhere. Now finding a way to flow out.
      But yes you are absolutely right later or early I have to release him. You are again right about his journey ahead. And yes he gave me a glass of water just for the same reason. He could never see me hurt or crying when he was alive. True I need to come out from it. But it’s taking time. I will be healed someday
      The only thing I need right now is unconditional love. That is what you are giving me. ☺
      Relax I will take good care of me for you. I’m reading The Forty Rules of Love once again. Finding peace and answers to my questions here! Thanks goes to you!
      Lots n lots of Love ❤😘

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      1. If that’s the case then it’s fine. Let out your blocked emotions in the guidance of your meditation Guruji. I wish the outburst of emotions doesn’t impact you negatively. Take your time. Glad the book is helping you. Navratre have started and I wish Mata Rani showers her blessings on you !!
        Big hug 😘

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        1. Thank You Cherry! Yes blocking of anything comes out in a wrong way. Don’t worry my scars have made me strong enough to come out of any blow safe and strong. I will be fine my sweet friend.
          Happy Navratre to you too! Big warm hug Cherry 😘

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  5. It’s heart-wrenching and never easy to lose someone, a brother, and a son. I can try to imagine what your father is going through. Don’t they say that when someone goes away, they become a small God that looks over the family? Happy that through spirituality, you are feeling the presence of your brother. Stay blessed.

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