60 thoughts on “Grief 

  1. If everything encountered at same time then : ist thing to believe in self , think that nothing is permanent & this phase will pass away too. The immediate solace can be felt by relying & leaving everything to HIM as he knows what is best in store even in & after this phase ! Good times!

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  2. I’ve never had all of those emotions hit me at once, in the worst case they’d follow up and shuffle ’round for a few seconds each before moving on to the next one. But in all cases,my grandfather was right. He always told us to “just keep breathing and everything will be okay in the end.”

    It will. If things get too bad, take some time to lie down or cry or whatever you need to do to get the emotion out of your system. Take your time and keep breathing 😉

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  3. Peace to you, my friend. All that comes passes, it does. Deep breath, feel it nourish you, allow yourself to feel all that you feel …all is valid and beautiful. Soak in the gentle sunshine any chance you get …coax yourself to get there gently. Deep breath, with hands to your heart …let it flow through. Take care and keep nourishing.

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        1. I was talking about friends on WP including you Pragal, though I have many friends and good ones but these days I don’t want to reach them. This is strange but that’s what happening with me. I cut off myself from other social platforms and don’t call myself anyone. But here I feel friends are reaching me not as sympathy but you all feel genuine.

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          1. I understand. These are profound times Meenakshi. I feel heartfelt gratitude that you count me in as your friend at this time. I extend you a warm hug and love from across the Earth. Take your time, as long as you need and choose only that which supports you.

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  4. Breath, honor your feelings, write them out and try to find a support group near you. It’s really helpful to be with people who can personally relate and understand. Wishing you peace, strength and sources of solace during this challenging time.

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  5. Dear Meenakshi, yes, we can’t deal with them all at once. It took my husband a whole year to grief over the loss of his best friend. It was a few weeks ago that we had the first barbeque after 18 months of Randy’s accidental death. We did often with Randy, perhaps my husband didn’t feel like doing without Randy. In their book, Grief and Grieving, David Kessler and Elisabeth Kübler-Ross identified five stages of grieving. Their website has a brief summary. We can’t rush ourselves through these steps. Grieving is a process. It is something you need to allow yourself to go through the cycle at your own pace. Be true to your feelings, feel free to cry (my husband was sobbing, he didn’t cry that hard over the loss of his dad, but disbelief the death of his best friend). It’s even okay to say, ” God, why did you do that to me?” Be honest with God and your closed ones of how you feel. Don’t stuff those feeling down. Just take it one day at a time. Hope this link helps. Miriam
    https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/

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    1. Thank You so much Miriam! I will check it. I know pain will subside slowly. Right now it’s edge is sharp like blade. Acceptance of such things is not easy. But talking about it here is like putting balm. Thanks to you all for this.

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      1. Talking about it and writing about it help a lot. It’s like getting the thread of the pain out slowly. Putting the pain in front of you like a slow motion movie and feel through it. Don’t rush to acceptance too fast. I didn’t rush my husband to accept his friend’s pass. So it took him 18 months to feel a little ease.

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  6. When I become overwhelmed with more than one emotion like this I have to distract myself. After I am distracted i can take on one thing at a time. Distraction is what helps me. And it has to be something I completely can immerse myself in.
    I like to use other senses than just what his happening in my brain. So if i can smell a flower and then close my eyes and feel the flower and kind of be the flower then i can feel grounded and centered a tiny bit more. I am so sorry for the grief you have endured

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  7. It’s tough to comment a word on this. But maybe you need some changes…some sort of physical shifting if possible.. or some other sort of charity involvements where can hardly get time to be sunk in your emotions…

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  8. It is very tough when you suddenly realize the person is not around. Let the parents cry and don’t say anything but listen. Take your time to grieve. Like someone said, do some activities and personally avoid staying in an empty house. Go out. With time, you shall feel his presence lending a protective eye. Take your time to grieve and cry if you may.

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          1. Yeah I can understand Meenakshi. You are enlightened soul . You should console rest of your family members.
            Just relax. Life has to go on…

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            1. Yea life has to go on…he was the only one Nisthur who loved me unconditionally. This loss is so huge. It will take some time. Starting meditations from today. It will give me back my senses
              I guess.

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  9. Sorry for replying late, i checked the post just now.
    Big hug
    You are reaching out to people to break the cycle of being absorbed in your thoughts that’s a good thing in itself
    Likewise reach out to friends and family in real life and ask them not to mention what happened for sometime
    You like going for walks so don’t stop that
    And it is very natural to feel lost in current situation so don’t blame yourself, for the fact what happened and your grieving.
    These feelings of hopelessness are a vicious cycle so though address your emotions by writing about them and don’t shut your emotions to feel numb but at the same time practice to detach yourself from this pain by doing things that require your 100 percent attention so that while you are doing it you feel relieved.
    Let your emotions be don’t try to stop it and it will pass on it’s own but be kind to yourself.
    He would like to see her sister strong not helpless and as they say our well wishers never disappear they comfort us in one way or the other. You will get better.
    And you can reach out to me anytime if you feel uncomfortable. Talking to someone is always a cushion but we debar ourselves from seeking it when depressed so don’t cut yourself off from loved ones.
    You are feeling something negative but don’t want to share it with family to add to their worries and need a window to say it then ping me at cherry.piscean@gmail.com
    Lots of love and respect 😘

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    1. Cherry I have no words to say thanks to you. I will follow and try my best to not dwell in depression. I will contact you soon on this mail address. Lots of love for being so understanding in these times of need. ❤❤

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  10. I used to think ignoring the negative emotions helped. I used to think that maintaining a positive attitude by saying affirmations helped. Then, a good friend opened up my eyes through a workshop and I learned that the best way to handle the negative and the unpleasant is to acknowledge their presence. Accept the reality but say that you will go one and triumph all the same. It’s like with courage: it’s not the absence of fear but feeling the fear but forging ahead anyway. Having an outlet helps, too. Sending love your way.

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  11. Grief hits you like waves , they come at you and whap you in the face , different emotions , love, happy memories, sad memories, guilt , anger, resentment, fury and so on .. and the missing their physical presence which cuts like a knife. Unfortunately we cannot just be rid of those feelings, but if you can accept them when they come even though they are soo very painful : cry when you need to , read , pray or meditate when you can .. The feelings do need to come out, that’s the love we feel for the one who has passed over …. and they will slowly subside. May you and your family be given the strength and grace to accept and move forward with love

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  12. Hold on to whatever and whoever gives comfort to your heart. Spend more time with your family as sharing a common grief lessens its weight on the heart. Talk to friends. All these feelings will keep attacking you and you will have to focus your mind on what you have right now and try to divert your mind. I know it’s easy for a third person to say this while only you know what you are going through. But it’s life and it’s the harsh reality of it. You have the responsibility of attending to your parents and family. The pain of these hard times will eventually be lessened by time only. Till then please hold yourself together and let time heal you. Try to involve in philanthropic activities and try spiritual help. Tell yourself that you did all that was in your hand. Beyond that it’s not in our control. Write it out whatever feelings and thoughts come. Talking to someone really helps a lot. And surround yourself with people you care for you and for whom you care.
    Pray for his peace. And remember that even he would not have liked seeing you engulfed in pain like this. For his sake and peace dont break! I pray that you soon get the strength to deal with this loss and your heart and mind are able to withstand the pain and shock. Do let me know if i can be of any help to you. Take care!

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    1. These words are very precious for me at this moment. Thank You so much for taking time out and understanding my condition. I’m very great full. I will surely reach you friends here on WP who so sincerely wants to help me out.

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